The Bachelor Five - THE FINALE with Prince Farming

That's it, folks. We started with 30 women and Chris narrowed it to one last night, choosing Whitney to be his next ex future bride over Becca. Both Chase and I predicted a Whitney victory (Chase even had her as one of his POWER 5 before the first episode kicked off) and the final score stands: Chase - 245 and Josh - 241.

Thanks to everyone for reading throughout the season. We'll be back in May for The Bachelorette!

Me during most of last night's episode.

The Four Sentence Recap

It was down to two women – Whitney and Becca – and both made the long trek from Bali to a beautiful resort in the Caribbean snowy Iowa (ummm, okay?) to meet the Soules family. Whitney made a dynamite impression (especially the Soules sisters) while Becca made a pretty okay impression and Chris remained torn between the two even after their final dates (Whitney harvested corn and Becca got a sketchy late night visit in case you were wondering). In the end, he sent Becca packing because she couldn’t say I love you and commit to moving to a desolate town after ~37 total hours of dating and proposed to Whitney in his childhood barn (it’s cool because he raised a pig there!) that was decorated with hay, stained glass windows and approximately 1,300 candles (in case you didn’t know, Chris is a farmer). The After the Final Rose special gave us Chris and Becca together (and it was actually super boring and unemotional), brought together the “happy” couple for a reunion, gave us appearances from Ashley S., Jimmy Kimmel and Juan Pablo the Cow and finally announced that both Britt and Kaitlyn would be dueling Bachelorettes for the upcoming season(UGH BRITT?! NO! ANYONE BUT BRITT!!).

The Bachelor Five
The Five Things You Need to Know About Last Night's Episode

5. The Sisters – Both Whitney and Becca met the entirety of the Soules family (who are also, not surprisingly, ¼ of the population in Arlington, Iowa). But the people who had the biggest sway? Chris’ three sisters. We haven’t seen sisters this powerful since the Sanderson Sisters were resurrected in Salem, MA. They outwardly preferred Whitney from the get go. And that was all the foreshadowing we needed to know that Becca never really stood a chance.

4. Finale in Iowa – Is there a more romantic location than a barn in the middle of nowhere for a proposal? There sure is. Spin the globe, put your finger down and you’ve got a more romantic spot. Finger stops in the middle of the ocean? Great! Who doesn’t love a proposal on the water?? Let’s be honest – the simple fact that the closest hotel to Arlington, Iowa was located more than an hour away in Dubuque should have been a red flag for producers. Don’t they know we love exotic locations and an excess of wine??? Target. Audience. Fail.

3. Nice and Steady Now – Sure Whitney won The Bachelor crown, but the real revelation was Becca. She was both sensible and articulate in her discussion with his family (not to mention the fact that she was killing it with the comedy routine at the Soules’ dinner table). Her main hesitation in her relationship with Chris was that she needed more time before she said I love you and moved to Arlington, Iowa for the rest of her life. The crazy thing (or maybe not so crazy thing if you are at all familiar with the show) is that everyone on the show HELD THIS AGAINST HER. Case in point:

2. Cameos FTW – The After the Final Rose special was pretty much a snooze whenever the focus was on Prince Farming. But thankfully we got a cameo from Ashley S. (the queen of The Bachelor who “supposes” she will appear on Bachelor in Paradise – which was the greatest news we got all night) and a cameo from Jimmy Kimmel (a much needed but much too late appearance) who brought a gift of a cow for Whitney and Chris (aptly named Juan Pablo). The fact that these two moments were the highlight of the three hour show should give you an idea of how boring the first two and a half hours were.

1. Two Is Better than One? – So The Bachelor saved its biggest twist for the very end – and it had almost nothing to do with this season of The Bachelor. It was announced that both Britt and Kaitlyn would be next season’s Bachelorette. Wait, what? By now, pretty much everyone has stated their opinion of the twist. And the popular consensus is that NO ONE LIKES THIS IDEA. I’ll keep it brief. Britt is the worst and this is a terrible plan. So will I be watching? You better believe it. See you in May, Bachelor Nation!