Joyful JoJo the Bachelorette - Week 5 POWER RANKINGS

Another week, another set of Power Rankings. Last week, we said goodbye to 5 (!) guys - Grant, Evan, Vinny, Daniel and James F. 

As promised, here are the rules of the competition in a separate and comprehensive blog post.

Luke (on his butt in the back) is the most mediocre sandboarder there ever was.

And here is the updated score after last week's episode:

Chase: 88
Josh: 102

WEEK 5 POWER RANKINGS 

1. ***Chase - I needed to rank someone first this week and I just couldn’t have anyone else up here. Luke ruined it in the blooper, Jordan ruined it because he DEFINITELY CHEATED ON HIS EX, and James Taylor just isn’t the top-ranked guy. I’m pretty confident Chase/Luke/Jordan will be 3 of the final 4, so Chase is going to be number 1 by default. And most importantly, y’all. His name is Chase. Chase’s gotta stick together.
2. **Luke - Luke is a lock for the top 4. He’s swoon-worthy (Do people still swoon?) and he’s a fellow Texan. Their connection has been apparent and he seems like a good enough guy. I had him ranked first, but the blooper-excerpt with him talking about his cup-size caused him to drop to number 2.
3. *Jordan - Not only did my thoughts of Jordan drop this week, but THE ENTIRE INTERNET TURNED AGAINST HIM. The conversation with JoJo was painful at best. JoJo didn’t seem to mind it though, so Jordan is in the top 3 this week. Who could resist a former football player? And more importantly, the prospect of having a hometown visit with Aaron Rodgers is maybe the best thing that could happen this season. Besides Chad. Chad is the best thing that has happened this season.
4. James Taylor - JT dropped a bit this week... primarily due to his lack of air-time. I think James Taylor will ultimately end up being friend-zoned, but for now he seems like an adorably normal guy. Who just happens to be named James Taylor.
5. Derek - I just can’t get past Jim Halpert on this. The more I stare at it, the more I see it. Derek was the center of some controversy and he got the “reassurance rose.” Can we talk about how moronic it is that he’s catching flack from the other guys for needing reassurance? Pro-Tip: Don’t let it bother you if your girlfriend’s other 7 boyfriends don’t like the fact that you need reassurance. Take the rose, find the meat tray at the cocktail party and move on to the next week.
6. Robby - His date was fine, but I just don’t think he’s going too much farther. I just don’t see it happening. Also, according to his biography, his favorite flower is honeysuckle. I’m all about honeysuckle, but have you ever met anyone that has claimed it as their favorite flower? Never trust someone who’s favorite flower is honeysuckle. Never.
7. Alex - This guy is all drama. I thought there was a chance he’d mellow out once Chad left, but damn. Enough is enough, man. At least Chad was a fun villain. Alex is just an angry dude that needs to go home.
8. Wells - I really like Wells. He’s a DJ in Nashville. You know he has some awesome stories. DJ’s live interesting lives—their job appears glamorous, but is also incredibly difficult. (Side note: Just finished reading Bare Bones by Bobby Bones. Stellar book. Great read and an interesting look into his life as a DJ.) All that said, we haven’t gotten much from Wells. We haven’t heard about his job, the lifestyle and the cool stories that come with a job in the music industry. Personally, I think Wells should be higher, but I think we’re starting to get low on time with Wells. 

 

 

1. **Derek – He got the group date rose because he let JoJo know he needed some reassurance. You know, because his girlfriend has 11 other boyfriends. JoJo obliged because she clearly likes him. Alex was (no surprise here) mad about this. Don’t sweat it, Derek. You are Jim Halpert from The Office. Pam (JoJo) had to suffer through Roy (Chad/Daniel/Alex) before she gets to Jim.
2. *Jordan – Despite a solid 1-on-1 date that ended with a rose, JoJo brought up some #SERIOUSCONCERNS with Jordan’s previous relationship and his commitment (or lack thereof) to that relationship. I still think he’ll ultimately win this season but things were iffy for a touch so I have to drop him down a spot. Also his hair is out of control. OUT. OF. CONTROL.
3. **James Taylor – Quiet week for the crooner but now that the number of men have dwindled, expect a resurgence of the guitar and the man who plays it.
4. *Luke – Mediocre sandboarder. Still from Texas. Dropped down a spot this week.
5. **Chase – He’s only this low because he was part of the group that picked on Derek before the rose ceremony for… I’m not actually sure why they picked on him. He’s probably safe but meh. Focusing on other contestants and not the girl is bad news bears.
6. Robby – Let’s be real. Uruguay wasn’t what the producers wanted. The romantic 1-on-1 date on the cliff was barely salvaged. It looked miserable. But Robby got a rose and told JoJo he “loved” her after spending a mere 7 hours with her. Cool. The only thing keeping him this low is the potential ROBBY HAS A GIRLFRIEND BACK HOME.
7. ***Wells – He hasn’t gotten much attention (no 1-on-1 and no real attention during group dates). If he doesn’t make a move this week, he’s out of here. Which pains me since not only does he seem like a good, normal guy, he was also in both of my preseason POWER 5 lists. Dude must learn to tighten his tie, though.
8. Alex – Dude. Settle. As soon as Chad Bear exited, Alex turned his attention to Jordan? HOW DARE HE SPEAK ILL OF THE ALL-TIME QB? But seriously, bro. Cool it with the finger pointing. Your time with JoJo is running short (PUN INTENDED).