Bachelor Power Rankings - Final Edition!

Readers! This is it. The final week in Juan Pablo's journey to 15 minutes of fame love and happiness. Chase and I are back with our final Power Rankings this week after the double header two weeks ago and the Women Tell All last week. The remaining two ladies (Nikki and Clare) will battle it out for JP's heart.

After the doubleheader, we said goodbye to Renee and Andi. I had them in spots 4 and 2 respectively, bringing Team On the Wings of Love's score to 55. Chase had them in spots 4 and 3 respectively as well, bringing Team A Bachelor Watching the Bachelor to 56. 

That means that after four weeks and five episodes, Chase has taken the lead. And since I can't seem to rank Clare in the #1 spot, it looks like Chase will take the first annual Bachelor Rankings title regardless of what happens this week. Congratulations, Chase!

That said, check out our rankings below and see if you agree and Chase's final thoughts below that. 

Questions? Comments? Sound off below!

The Contest: Two guys (Josh and Chase) who have no business ranking The Bachelor contestants rank the remaining Bachelor contestants. We predict who is safe and who is going home in the upcoming episode of The Bachelor and provide our expert analysis.


The Rules: Josh and Chase will rank the remaining Bachelor contestants. Points will be awarded each week based on how well Josh and Chase predict the contestants going home. For example, if Josh puts a contestant in spot 7 and Chase puts her in spot 10 and she goes home, Josh will get 7 points and Chase will get 10.


The winner at the end of the season will be rewarded a true bachelor dinner from the loser (there will be a special blog post dedicated to this happening).

Chase's Final Thoughts: What a ride. Thanks for reading and putting up with Josh & my commentary throughout the season. I’m working on my bachelor contestant audition video blogging skills: Josh and I will be continuing our rankings for other awesome things that you might not have formerly cared about watching. More to come, y’all. More to come.

Bachelor Power Rankings - Special Edition

Hello everyone! As you all know, after last week's crazy double episode, we are left with two crazy women vying for Juan Pablo's heart. We said goodbye to Renee (actually sad) and Andi who left of her own accord after deciding she really hated the fact that Juan Pablo said "It's okay" more times than he cried. Side note: do not, under any circumstances let Andi read this book.

All that aside, we will have our FINAL Power Rankings of the season for you next week in advance of the season finale. In the meantime, we wanted to give you some predictions for the show tonight (written by @chasehathaway since my past week was so busy) AND a fun drinking game to play with your friends. Double the fun in one post? It must be too good to be true.

Questions? Comments? Sound off below!

Women Tell All Predictions

FIRSTS

First person to cry:

• Renee… Chris Harrison is going to prod her into talking about Ben. Makes for good TV. 

First person to say they were in love with Juan Pablo: 

• I’m going with Chelsie here. What is love if it isn’t chemistry?

First couch interview:

• They’ll save the best for last. So that rules out Andi. I’m going with Cassandra in an emotional “did you see it coming” talk.

First Bachelorette contestant to imitate Juan Pablo's accent:

• Lucy. Pease be Lucy. The more airtime that Lucy gets, the better.

First person to say "it's okay" LIVE (Not pre-recorded from an episode)

• Chris Harrison.

First contestant to mention Camilla:

• Random girl that got kicked off in week 2.

First person to use the word "Default": Choose: 1) Juan Pablo 2) Chris Harrison 3) Andi 4) Other

• 2) Chris Harrison. Chris Harrison is always the correct answer. It doesn’t matter what the question is: “What do you want to be when you grow up?”. “If you could have lunch with one person from all of history?”, etc… The answer is always Chris Harrison. 

Last word of the episode from Chris Harrison: Choose: 1) "Bachelor" or "Finale" or 2) Any other word in the English language

• 1) "Bachelor" or "Finale" - Closing line will be “next week on the dramatic conclusion of the Bachelor” And boy will it be dramatic.

NUMBER OF TIMES

Number of times Chris Harrison references last season's Bachelor, Sean:

• 3. (#BringBackSean)

Number of times Juan Pablo says "Sorry" while on the Girls Tell All Episode

• 4. Sorry.

Number of Times Juan Pablo touches someones face:

• Enough to make me uncomfortable everytime it happens?! I’m going with one time. And hopefully it is to pluck something off of Andi’s eyebrow.

Number of Commercial Breaks:

• I’m at a slight disadvantage here as I’m writing them from an airplane and didn’t get to see how long the episode will be. HOWEVER, I’m guessing 2 hours, 4 per hour, 8 total.

Number of men shown in the live studio audience

• 2. One of which will be @goldmanstandard. (Editor's note: I wish).

MISCELLANEOUS:

Will ABC have a hashtag specific to the episode that they promote at any point during the show?

• Yes.

If yes, what will that hashtag be?

• #LadiesTellAll

Will Kelly The Dog Lover bring her dog, Molly (editor's note: the true star of this season):

• We can only hope. My guess is yes.

Will all of the top 12 contestants be there?

• Excluding Nikki/Clare… yes. And we wont remember half of them.

Will Cassandra call JP "Juan" at any point during the episode:

• No. I don’t think she’ll have the chance. 

Will the word "Mundo" be used in the episode?

• Multiple times. And it’ll be amazing. So much mundo. In fact…all of the Mundo.

Who will bring up the ocean incident first? Choose: 1) Chris Harrison or 2) A contestant?

• Chris Harrison.

Is Chelsie actually a science educator?

• Scandal breaks out. Controversy ensues. Chelsie is actually a professional roller derby contestant.

Will anyone actually ask Juan Pablo what his job is to clarify that his office is not a baseball diamond?

• Unfortunately not. But for real guys, that’s not his office.

THE NEXT BACHELORETTE

Will it Happen?

• Yes.

If they announce next season's Bachelorette, will it be a Contestant from this season?

• Yes. That’s a formula that’s worked well for them these past few seasons—the fan base is already familiar with them.

What color dress will next season's Bachelorette be wearing: Primary Color or any other color

• Will not be a primary color. Does anyone wear primary color dresses anymore?

Women Tell All Drinking Game!**

Take ONE drink:

• Every time Chris Harrison adjusts his tie.
• Every time there is a preview clip from the "Dramatic Season Finale."
• Anytime Chris Harrison mentions Twitter.
• Anytime the majority of the audience audibly “boos.”
• At each reference of a previous season of The Bachelor or The Bachelorette.
• Every time Lucy speaks.
• Each time Chris Harrison interviews a contestant on the couch.

 Take TWO drinks:

• Any time banter between contestants gets heated.
• Whenever a single parent mentions their child.
• Whenever Chris Harrison opens a conversation with “So name, tell me about…”
• Whenever the word “regret” is mentioned throughout the show.
• At each mention of Camilla.

CHUG:

• Any time a contestant trash talks Clare.
• When there is any video or mention of Sharleen’s kiss with JP.
• If any contestant mentions that they are now dating someone new.
• If you’re watching this with your wife/girlfriend/mistress and the only thing that gets you through these 2 hours is this blog.

Find THREE Bud Lights & shotgun all of them in less than 3 minutes:

• Each time you think “I might apply to The Bachelor or The Bachelorette next season and then go online and apply.

Pop a Bottle of Champagne:

• If we find out what exactly happened in the ocean

Take ONE drink of water:

• Every time Juan Pablo comes out on stage. His presence is sobering.
• At each commercial break…You’ll need it.

**Your friends at the Bachelor Power Rankings do not condone excessive drinking. Please proceed with caution. And maybe some Advil for tomorrow morning.