The Bachelorette - Episode 6 Power Rankings!

Ladies and gents. We've reached the Elite 8 of The Bachelorette. Sure it doesn't hold as much prestige as say, the NCAA tournament. But for these guys, it's literally their last shot at love before they shrivel up and turn into dust*.

So how doid everything shake out after the fifth episode? King Chase is in an "Elizabeth II type reign" here and there is little opportunity for Josh to catch up. But it won't be for a lack of trying. Andi said goodbye Marquel, Patrick and Andrew in episode 5. Chase had them in spots 7, 9, 10 while Josh had them in spots 7,8 and 10 respectively. That brings the total score after four episodes to:

• Chase - 213 points
• Josh - 198 points

Either these guys are recently escaped from prison or there is a mime convention in town.

Without further ado, here's a recap of the rules followed by our updated rankings and quick insight of ALL remaining 11 men. As a note for those readers following along at home, Chase and Josh's remaining Power 5 will be marked with an asterisk for the rest of the season so you can see where the first impression picks shake out.

The Contest: Two guys (Josh and Chase) who have no business ranking The Bachelorettecontestants rank the contestants. We predict who is safe and who is going home in the upcoming episode of The Bachelorette and provide our expert analysis.

The Rules: Josh and Chase will rank the remaining Bachelorette contestants. Points will be awarded each week based on how well Josh and Chase predict the contestants going home. For example, if Josh puts a contestant in spot 7 and Chase puts her in spot 10 and that person goes home, Josh will get 7 points and Chase will get 10.

The winner (the person with the most points) at the end of the season must purchase flowers for the winning player's mother.

The Power 5 - Josh and Chase have each chosen five contestants who they think will go the furthest this season based solely on the information provided on ABC.com in advance of the premiere. Each person's Power 5 will remain the same for the duration of the show regardless of elimination. For every Power 5 pick in the actual final 5 contestants, each player will receive 5 additional points. 

And to put your worried minds at ease, Chase wants everyone to know we are still both here for the right reasons.

*Not proven by science.

1. * Josh M., 29, a former professional baseball player from Atlanta, GA – A viewer recently pointed out to me that Josh has slightly creepy eyebrows. Weirdly disproportional. Even so, Josh is staying in the front runner position. This season is his to lose.

2. * Marcus, 25, a sports medicine manager from Dallas, TX – I've bumped Marcus up this week one spot. I personally feel he may be a bit of a sleaze, but Andi is enamored. He's not going anywhere anytime soon. Mortal Lock for hometown visits. 

3. Nick V., 33, a software sales executive from Chicago, IL – Andi has terrible taste. I don't really like Nick, but Andi is smitten. More importantly, Nick isn't making any friends on the show. Sure...I know you aren't there to be friends with 24 new bros, but come on man. 

4. * Chris, 32, a farmer from Arlington, IA – There are so many questions. And too many to keep him in the two slot. Is he too nice for her? Did he get friendzoned? What crop is his specialty? How does he like is steak cooked? The world may never know. 

5. JJ, 30, a pantsapreneur from San Francisco, CA – Some of my favorite words that start with a “J”: juxtaposition, jamboree, jack-o-lantern, joyful, juniper. All of the J's. Anyway. JJ just has an infectious personality. I hope he makes a run at hometowns, but I'm still slightly jaded & worried he isn't there for the right reasons. 

6. Brian, 27, a basketball coach from Camp Hill, PA – A man that can't cook is a red flag in my book. The show keeps hooking him up with great dates and he can’t convert. He's like Lebron in Cleveland. Total player, but won't end up with a ring. 

7. Cody, 28, a personal trainer from Chicago, IL – Seriously. This guy must have one hell of a personality off camera. I just don't see it. I don't understand why he's around, but he must be a nice dude. He needs to go home. 

8. Dylan, 26, an accountant from Boston, MA – The hair hasn't gotten any better and neither have his chances at winning The Bachelorette. 

1. JJ, 30, a pantsapreneur from San Francisco, CA –  I don’t see how this fun loving guy can actually win the whole thing (since when has the goofy, down to earth fellow ever won this show?). That said, he is safe this week. The more interesting storyline for JJ – with only 8 guys left, one of the seven losers is bound to become the next front man on The Bachelor. My money is on JJ if he doesn’t steal Andi’s heart.

2. * Josh M., 29, a former professional baseball player from Atlanta, GA – This is the guy most likely to win. And he’s probably the worst fit of all the guys left. If Andi picks him, she just wasted a lot of time being The Bachelorette. She’s said more times than once that Josh M. is “her type” She immediately follows that statement up with the statement that  “guys who are her type have been a terrible fit for her in the past.” Ummm can someone play some of her own interview sound bites back to her before she makes a huge mistake?

3. Chris, 32, a farmer from Arlington, IA – This guy is simply too nice but is he maybe kind of dumb as well. He couldn’t even articulate what the tension was between Marquel and Andrew in his one on one time with Andi during the group date. One thing we learned for certain last week – there are no mimes in Iowa. Sleep well metamfiezomaiophobiacs. Iowa is your promised land.

4. Marcus, 25, a sports medicine manager from Dallas, TX – I can’t remember a single thing about Marcus during last week’s episode but he seems to be hiding out in the middle of the pack, which is just good enough for now.

5. Nick V., 33, a software sales executive from Chicago, IL – Nick V. was a total turnoff during the mime group date. Sure it was a silly activity but he looked like such a pretentious jack-ass the whole time. Arms folded and a verbal “no I will not participate” made him look less like the oldest guy left and more like a pouty kindergartner (but even they would enjoy miming). And yet, Andi feels a real connection with him. He’s safe this week barring any secret girlfriends.

6. * Brian, 27, a basketball coach from Camp Hill, PA – Oof. This guy was an absolute disaster on his one on one date. A transcript of the cooking scene would serve as a perfect guide for what to avoid on an intimate first date. Even though he managed a rose and a kiss in the kitchen of the restaurant (ummmm, okay?) I’m calling it now – Brian has zero chance of winning.  

7. Cody, 28, a personal trainer from Chicago, IL – I hesitate putting him this low on the list this week. Sure he probably has the worst odds of anyone left of actually winning Andi’s heart but he also has a one on one date this week. And Andi seems far too nice to send anyone home on a one on one (she should have done it a couple of times already – see: Dylan). That said, if it’s going to happen, it will happen to Cody.

8. Dylan, 26, an accountant from Boston, MA – I cannot believe this guy made it to the Elite 8. He is so dull, I nearly fall asleep looking at his silly face and haircut. If he stays around after this week, I will be forced to consider the idea that Andi may be duller than we thought.

The Bachelorette - Episode 5 Power Rankings!

After the double feature two weeks ago, we're finally back with a brand new episode of Andi's journey tonight. While most of the send-offs two weeks ago were unsurprising, Eric calling Andi out for "acting" her way around the guys and his subsequent self-administered exit was pretty shocking. It was sad to see such a good guy head off the show so unceremoniously (and in a taxi no less). Even more tragic is the fact that he was killed in an accident just a few weeks after leaving the show. It was a somber finish to an otherwise entertaining two part episode but it answers the question as to why Eric, who seemed to be Top 5 material, would be sent home. As it turns out, it was his decision to leave. It will be interesting to see what happens during the hometown dates when Andi and the remaining contestants get word of his accident. As much as this is just a silly TV show, his death will likely play a real part in the emotions of everyone still involved in the show.

All that said, it's back to the fun and games. How does everything shake out after the thrid and fourth episode? King Chase refuses to relinquish his reign and continues to crush Josh. In the last two episodes, Andi said goodbye to Eric, Ron, Tasos, Bradley, and Brett. Chase had them in spots 2, 11, 12, 15, and 16 while Josh had them in spots 1, 14, 7, 16, and 11 respectively. That brings the total score after four episodes to:

• Chase - 187 points
• Josh - 173 points

Andi and Marcus hang out (literally) on their one on one date.

Without further ado, here's a recap of the rules followed by our updated rankings and quick insight of ALL remaining 11 men. As a note for those readers following along at home, Chase and Josh's remaining Power 5 will be marked with an asterisk for the rest of the season so you can see where the first impression picks shake out.

The Contest: Two guys (Josh and Chase) who have no business ranking The Bachelorettecontestants rank the contestants. We predict who is safe and who is going home in the upcoming episode of The Bachelorette and provide our expert analysis.

The Rules: Josh and Chase will rank the remaining Bachelorette contestants. Points will be awarded each week based on how well Josh and Chase predict the contestants going home. For example, if Josh puts a contestant in spot 7 and Chase puts her in spot 10 and that person goes home, Josh will get 7 points and Chase will get 10.

The winner (the person with the most points) at the end of the season must purchase flowers for the winning player's mother.

The Power 5 - Josh and Chase have each chosen five contestants who they think will go the furthest this season based solely on the information provided on ABC.com in advance of the premiere. Each person's Power 5 will remain the same for the duration of the show regardless of elimination. For every Power 5 pick in the actual final 5 contestants, each player will receive 5 additional points. 

And to put your worried minds at ease, Chase wants everyone to know we are still both here for the right reasons.

1. * Josh M., 29, a former professional baseball player from Atlanta, GA – I found out from a friend this past week that this guy is the Brother of former University of Georgia Quarterback, Aaron Murray. As a Gamecock fan, I would drop Josh M. for his association with the Bulldog QB, but honestly I love the fact that Josh is going to get more TV time than Aaron will this year while he hold the clipboard for the KC Chiefs.
2. * Chris, 32, a farmer from Arlington, IA – I really like Chris. His basketball skills weren’t as good as his agriculture prowess, but can you blame him for being well-versed in crop rotation rather than zone defense rotation? No, Readers. No you cannot.
3. * Marcus, 25, a sports medicine manager from Dallas, TX – Excellent one-on-one date with Andi. He scored points for being calm & reassuring during the repelling. I don’t buy the fact that he hasn’t dated anyone in several years. Well played on covering the rose and seeming bashful about it. But let’s just be real: Eric got it right. This show is all about acting. And I think Marcus is doing a great just of doing just that. 
4. Nick V., 33, a software sales executive from Chicago, IL – Nick gets the “cute” vote here. Their time from last week was very easy, it seemed. Nothing all to forced, he opened up a bit and all seemed happy. I think he stays around a while… if for no other reason than for Andi to feel like she used her first impression rose relatively well.
5. JJ, 30, a pantsapreneur from San Francisco, CA – Dude is a pantsapreneur and is still on national television after 4-5 episodes of The Bachelorette. Honestly, I think its pretty brilliant that he’s able to use this as a little PR stunt for his business. His website (Hemhaus.com) is the #1 hit when you google “pantsaprenuer.” While he may not be here for the right reason, he’s a Search Engine Optimization Master. SEO FTW. 
6. Brian, 27, a basketball coach from Camp Hill, PA – I’d like to discuss the authenticity of his half-court shot. The editing made it seem like he hit it on his first shot. I’m calling it into question. National TV. On a date with Andi. Already played a game of basketball. Legs are shot. No chance he hit it on his first shot. I’m not buying it. Andi bought it though. And Brian isn’t going anywhere anytime soon.
7. Marquel, 26, a sponsorship salesman from Las Vegas, NV – I really liked Marquel from the start, but his stock has been dropping. In the previews it looks like Marquel gets into it with someone. I don’t really see him as an offensive guy, so I think he goes on the defensive here. 
8. Dylan, 26, an accountant from Boston, MA – I watched the double-episodes with my parents & my mom really liked this guy (Really Mom?). I don’t think he has much of a future left on the show. And he needs a haircut. I applaud him for opening up to Andi, but I give him a week or two left on the show.
9. Patrick, 29, an advertising executive from Newport Beach, CA – At this point in the season if I still have you confused with another contestant, you’re not going to be around much longer. That said, I like him more than Andrew.
10. Andrew, 30, a social media marketer from Culver City, CA – The more I see this guy, the more I don’t like him. There’s just something about him that rubs me the wrong way. And he and Patrick just seem like the same person to me.
11. Cody, 28, a personal trainer from Chicago, IL – I don’t know. Maybe it’s a personal vendetta, I just don’t like Cody. I don’t really understand how he’s still around. But for some reason he is. I’m going to continue to rate him lowly until he finally meets his demise. 

1. Nick V., 33, a software sales executive from Chicago, IL – After the last two episodes, you might have thought this was The Bachelor and Nick V. was the star. He got a ton of screen time and Andi is smitten. There is some question as to whether he feels entitled to his position but he is certainly establishing himself as the front runner.
2. JJ, 30, a pantsapreneur from San Francisco, CA – This guy blew me away last time. He handled what can only be described as the weirdest date in Bachelorette history (getting made up as an old man) with ease and lightheartedness. Here’s hoping this seemingly totally normal and fun-loving guy makes it far. 
3. * Brian, 27, a basketball coach from Camp Hill, PA – Brian brought his A-game in the last episode. No literally, they played his favorite game (basketball) and he dominated. He even sunk a half-court shot in front of Andi (smooth editing to make it look like one attempt). Andi was majorly turned on and his only crime was not kissing her during the group date. He more than made up for it during the cocktail hour when he returned to the scene of the crime with Andi and kissed her at center court. He’s safe through this week at the very least. 
4. Marcus, 25, a sports medicine manager from Dallas, TX – The young gun continues to shine and he’s making a strong case for the Top 5.
5. Chris, 32, a farmer from Arlington, IA – Low key week from the resident farmer but he is sitting pretty. My guess is that he will be around until the Top 5.
6. * Josh M., 29, a former professional baseball player from Atlanta, GA – He had a relatively quiet last two episodes (as far as Josh M. goes) until his near explosion regarding Andrew possibly “Not Being There for the Right Reasons” © Bachelor/Bachelorette Team. It will be interesting to see how this plays out but I’m giving the edge to Josh M. as Andi seems to have more chemistry with him.
7. * Marquel, 26, a sponsorship salesman from Las Vegas, NV – The more I see of Marquel, the more mad I am that I picked him as one of my Power 5. He seems like a totally cool guy but not the right fit for Andi. Humor will only take him so far.
8. Patrick, 29, an advertising executive from Newport Beach, CA – He might stick around another week since only two people are likely to go home (and he is the opposite of controversial). The fact of the matter is, I’m concerned that I’m the only one who finds his chin so weird.
9. Cody, 28, a personal trainer from Chicago, IL – The meathead seems perfectly nice but can anyone honest see him winning? Quite the accomplishment for him to make it this far, though so he has plenty to be proud of (if being on The Bachelorette is something to be proud of).
10. Andrew, 30, a social media marketer from Culver City, CA – This guy is confirming my earlier suspicions that there is a resident d-bag in Bachelorette Mansion (or whatever expensive hotel they are shacking up in this week) and his name is Andrew. It’s hard to tell what really happened in the case of Andrew and the Mysterious Waitresses Phone Number but the editors on the side of Josh M.
11. Dylan, 26, an accountant from Boston, MA – This guy has a sad backstory. But he is so boring, I’d rather watch Andi on a date with a rock. His personality is so much like paste, I’m putting him last despite the fact that he had a one on one date last week. Here’s hoping Andi sends him back to Boston to find a personality.

The Bachelorette - Week 3 Power Rankings!

We're two weeks in and last week was a huge improvement in terms of pure enjoyment from Week 1 of Andi's journey. We saw two fantastic one on one dates and an interesting group date (stripping on a first date is a thing, right?). We got cameos from Sharleen (how's that opera career going?) and Kelly the Dog Lover at the strip tease. And of course, the highlight of Week 2 - Craig's drunken night and fully clothed dip in the pool. This week we've got not one but TWO episodes so we're bringing you a special edition Sunday night version of the Power Rankings.

So how did the points shake out after the second week? At the end of Week 2, Josh made up some serious group and is now only 7 points behind King Chase. Last week, Andi said goodbye to Nick S., Carl, and Craig. Chase had them in spots 6, 7, and 18, while Josh had them in spots 11,12, and 16. That brings the total score after two weeks to:

• Chase - 131 points
• Josh - 124 points

Andi and Chris had serious chemistry at the race track. And a hilariously (staged) conversation with an old couple.

It's still anyone's game!

Without further ado, here's a recap of the rules followed by our updated rankings and quick insight of ALL remaining 16 men. As a note for those readers following along at home, Chase and Josh's remaining Power 5 will be marked with an asterisk for the rest of the season so you can see where the first impression picks shake out.

The Contest: Two guys (Josh and Chase) who have no business ranking The Bachelorettecontestants rank the contestants. We predict who is safe and who is going home in the upcoming episode of The Bachelorette and provide our expert analysis.

The Rules: Josh and Chase will rank the remaining Bachelorette contestants. Points will be awarded each week based on how well Josh and Chase predict the contestants going home. For example, if Josh puts a contestant in spot 7 and Chase puts her in spot 10 and that person goes home, Josh will get 7 points and Chase will get 10.

The winner (the person with the most points) at the end of the season must purchase flowers for the winning player's mother.

The Power 5 - Josh and Chase have each chosen five contestants who they think will go the furthest this season based solely on the information provided on ABC.com in advance of the premiere. Each person's Power 5 will remain the same for the duration of the show regardless of elimination. For every Power 5 pick in the actual final 5 contestants, each player will receive 5 additional points. 

And to put your worried minds at ease, Chase wants everyone to know we are still both here for the right reasons.

1. * Josh M., 29, a former professional baseball player from Atlanta, GA – a. Josh’s approach to debunking the stereotype this past week was golden and Andi seemed to appreciate his sentiments. And the dude got a kiss from Andi. More importantly…Craig seemed to have a big man-crush on him throughout the stripshow. Always a good sign: If he’s good enough for Drunken Craig, He’s good enough for the top spot in my rankings.
2. * Eric, 31, an explorer from Citrus Heights, CA – a. The first one-on-one date of the year was pretty impressive. Eric shined and the dude is just interesting. Some of his stories were absolutely incredible (and frightening). I really hope he gets as much time on the show as possible. We can all learn a bit from Eric, I think.
3. * Marcus, 25, a sports medicine manager from Dallas, TX – Marcus somehow got Andi to think “Oh he’s so sweet” WHILE PERFORMING AS A STRIPPER. How do you even do that? Sharleen gave her vote of approval as well.
4. * Chris, 32, a farmer from Arlington, IA – a. These two just looked good together. They fit really well together despite their geographical & urban upbringing differences. What one might call "baggage" about Chris’ previous engagement came across as well as it could have. Andi didn’t shy away from it and Chris was honest about it. The (staged) old couple was adorable. 
5. Marquel, 26, a sponsorship salesman from Las Vegas, NV – He’s got swagger. He stood out in the group date and his suave nature will carry him through for the next few weeks.
6. Nick V., 33, a software sales executive from Chicago, IL – Nick V didn’t get much airtime this week, but still survived and advanced. That First Impression Rose is going to carry him for quite a while.
7. JJ, 30, a pantsapreneur from San Francisco, CA – JJ didn’t get much one-on-one camera time this week, but I still think he’s going to be around for a while. And hopefully get enough time to plug his business. (Sorry for assuming he’s not there for the right reasons).
8. Dylan, 26, an accountant from Boston, MA – Dylan (lap)danced with Chris Harrison. This was amazing. I’m not wild about the dude’s hair, but he scored some points in my book.
9. Andrew, 30, a social media marketer from Culver City, CA – Andrew is a social media marketer—He seems normal enough. For the most part social media people are generally pretty engaging. I’m relatively addicted to Twitter, so I wonder how he’s doing having to be unplugged to social media for such a stretch of time. What will he choose: Love or Twitter?
10. Patrick, 29, an advertising executive from Newport Beach, CA – a. Patrick has Paul Rudd as his favorite actor. I don’t like Patrick enough to spend a lot of time talking about him, so here is Paul Rudd doing a Lip Sync Battle: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4LvMeYEwWGQ&feature=kp. 
11. Ron, 28, a beverage sales manager from Memphis, TN – I like Ron, I just don’t think there’s a connection. He seems nice enough, but isn’t standing out. He’ll stick around for a few more weeks, but I think he’ll get sent home sooner rather than later
12. Tasos, 30, a wedding event coordinator from Denver, CO – Tasos just seems like a good guy. He has a bulldog named Tank (didn’t see that one coming), but I think the lack of a connection + the earrings are going to be his downfall. 
13. Brian, 27, a basketball coach from Camp Hill, PA – You have to like a Bachelorette contestant that is a basketball coach. And you have to feel for anyone that has a profession and comes on this show. After stripping on national TV, what are his chances of any team or group of students ever taking him seriously?
14. Cody, 28, a personal trainer from Chicago, IL – Maybe he has personality besides his body-building muscles, but I don’t see it. 
15. * Bradley, 32, an opera singer from Holland, MI – This is my power 5-guy that I just don’t have any faith in. He seems like a smart & talented guy, but he oozes awkward. 
16. Brett, 29, a hairstylist from Westminster, PA – a. I still just don’t see it. I don’t see the connection, I don’t see the chemistry, and I do see a quasi-mullet on a guy that proclaims to be a hairdresser.

1. * Eric, 31, an explorer from Citrus Heights, CA – There isn’t much to say about Eric other than watching his journey on this show is incredibly sad knowing what happens after he is eventually eliminated. That said, it’s clear that he is one of Andi’s early favorites. I’ll be interested to see what happens further down the line that causes her to send him home.
2. Chris, 32, a farmer from Arlington, IA – This guy had a ROCK solid first date with Andi and turned on the charm big time. I have to give him props for going in for the FIRST KISS of the season (even if it did look incredibly awkward). We probably won’t see much of him this week since he had a starring role last episode but this guy isn’t going anywhere anytime soon.
3. * Josh M., 29, a former professional baseball player from Atlanta, GA – He seems like another early favorite to take the “crown” at the end of the season but the previews suggest something bad could be brewing (a potential girlfriend situation?!). It was hard to tell if Josh was involved in the accusation due to the cagey editing from the producers but I’m keeping him this high due to the fact that Andi responded VERY well to his kiss.
4. Marcus, 25, a sports medicine manager from Dallas, TX – I was wrong about Marcus last week. He definitely isn’t middle of the pack. He made a good impression during the group date and despite his young age, he seems more mature than most. Side note: Not sure how Andi got “humility” from his strip tease. Weird.
5. * Brian, 27, a basketball coach from Camp Hill, PA – Andi seemed to like Brian during the striptease group date last week. Huge sigh of relief from me.
6. Nick V., 33, a software sales executive from Chicago, IL – This guy is an anomaly. He got the First Impression Rose in Week 1 and then got very little attention last week. I hope we get to know him a little better. 
7. Tasos, 30, a wedding event coordinator from Denver, CO – I’m shocked that not only is Tasos still around but that Andi seems to like him quite a bit. There is no way he wins but I think he’s safe for the double feature this week.
8. JJ, 30, a pantsapreneur from San Francisco, CA – No one on one date and no group date for the pants guy in Week 2. Yet somehow, he snuck through. I don’t see him winning Andi’s heart but she may keep him around for a one on one date.
9. * Marquel, 26, a sponsorship salesman from Las Vegas, NV – Andi’s two comments about Marquel last week revolved around his incredible physique and his sense of humor. That isn’t enough for a long term relationship and I fear he could be going home sooner rather than later. And that cocktail hour outfit? Horrible.
10. Andrew, 30, a social media marketer from Culver City, CA – No comment. No, really. I don’t know enough about him to say anything.
11. Brett, 29, a hairstylist from Westminster, PA – His hair is still a huge concern. The real question is: would he cut the mullet for Andi?
12. Patrick, 29, an advertising executive from Newport Beach, CA – Middle of the road kind of guy. His chin is weird.
13. Cody, 28, a personal trainer from Chicago, IL – I cannot see him lasting past the episodes (!) we have this week. And isn’t it only a matter of time before we see some roid rage anyway? Better safe than sorry!
14. Ron, 28, a beverage sales manager from Memphis, TN – My opinion that this guy is totally average doesn’t change this week. He’s a good looking guy but got “Craiged” last week during his only one on one time with Andi. He is not long for this competition.
15. Dylan, 26, an accountant from Boston, MA – After two weeks, I’m not convinced we’ve heard him speak more than three times. Yawn. See you on the flipside, Dylan.
16. Bradley, 32, an opera singer from Holland, MI – How did this guy survive last week? I stand by my assessment – Total. Turd. Please go home this week. Side note: Regardless of how much it hurts me in the rankings, I will continue to rank Bradley the Turd in last place until he goes home.