Nick "4th Time's the Charm" V. the Bachelor! - Week 2

So Chase and I thought about starting our rankings this week. But with approximately 73 girls still left vying for Nick's heart-on this show, we thought we'd introduce a new piece for our Week 2 content - FIRST IMPRESSION BROS.

Human adults spent far too many minutes of their lives debating whether Alexis was dressed as a shark or a dolphin (it's a shark, it's a shark, IT'S A SHARK).

FIRST IMPRESSION BROS

Wherein Chase and I give our thoughts on six of the women who made it past Night 1. It's part real contenders (GOOD IMPRESSION), part crazies (BAD IMPRESSION) and all fun.

GOOD IMPRESSION

Danielle M.  

Picking a final two before Week 1 turned out to be 50% bad for me (Lauren who?). But my other pick - Danielle M. - seems like she could be the real deal. She’s mature, self-assured and not afraid to interact normally with our four time Bachelor alum. When Nick asked a dumb question about whether or not she worked in a hospital after she basically told him she worked in a hospital, she teased him about it in a playful way. Get it girl. Don’t give up the power just because your boyfriend is dating 29 other women.

Rachel

Let’s get this out of the way. The Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise has a diversity problem. Ever since they started casting the next main character from the previous season, there hasn't even been a remote chance at having a minority as the lead - not cool. But not only could First Impression Rose Recipient Rachel be a contender to be the next Bachelorette, she could actually win this season. She’s an attorney from Texas who Nick immediately gravitated toward. She’s confident and it’s clear from Night 1 that she isn’t going to get bogged down with any silliness that will ultimately ensue. Look for her to go far.

Vanessa 

I'm staying all in with #TeamVanessa. She was one of my two selections last week and I'm not wavering. I generally avoid anyone that breaks out a foreign language on the opening introduction (I can never get the Juan Pablo fiasco out of my mind), but I think there's something to Vanessa. I'll have time to talk more about her this season, I'm sure, so I won't spend too much time now. But she's going to be a contender, y'all.

BAD IMPRESSION

Alexis 

Let's be real: You're watching tonight's episode for one reason: You haven't been able to sleep this past week debating whether Alexis was a Shark or a Dolphin. Don't worry, I'm here to put the matter to rest. She's a shark. Despite her alleged obsession with dolphins, Alexis tracked down the Left Shark suit from Katy Perry's half-time performance. We did a little research--because it literally only took one Google Search--and found that they actually DO make dolphin suits. As a side note, if you didn't see this tweet, you should start following that account. You'll like it.

Corinne

She’s the girl we are going to love to hate and I couldn’t be more happy about that. She’s 24, surfs Facebook on her own computer in her parents house runs a family business and bosses her nanny Raquel around (“MORE CUCUMBER SLICES STAT, RAQUEL.”). Seems like the perfect match for absolutely no one. Probably not wise to stick your tongue down Nick’s throat right after you meet him, either. Save that s**t for Bachelor in Paradise. Jorge’s got a drink waiting!

Liz

Let's hand it to the producers, they've really gone all out this season. There's so much to love about this story line: Nick's terrible memory, Liz transitioning from withdrawn to LAYING EVERYTHING OUT ON THE TABLE within 15 minutes of the episode, flashbacks to Nick being upset toward Andi about the fantasy suite, Bachelor Mansion jealousy. This is literally the best. The only thing that could've been better would be if they brought Andi back as a contestant. Liz represents everything that we've grown to love and hate about this TV show. We can only hope this magic lasts a few episodes, but my hunch is we say goodbye to Liz--and one of the best contrived story plot lines in recent years--tonight.

Nick "4th Time's the Charm" V. the Bachelor! - Week 1

We never thought it would happen. But believe it. Nick V. is back for a FOURTH time to try to find love. It hasn't worked either of the other three times so hell, why not give it another shot. What did Einstein know anyway?

So a quick note about the blog this season - one of us is expecting a big life change (read: small human child joining the family) so the blog may look a little different this season. That said, we are still going to do our best to bring you content every week! The plan right now is to kick off Power Rankings as usual next week. But instead of the usual Power 5 picks we make before the season, we simplified and have each picked our Final 2. Whoever's picks go the farthest (cumulatively), gets an additional 5 points at the end of the season. That could be huge - the difference between a win and a loss.

Without further adieu, here are Chase and I's Final 2 selections!

1. Vanessa

Vanessa has a lot going for her in my mind. Primarily, she looks just. like. Andi. In case you’ve forgotten, Nick has been on the show THREE times. I wanted to make one pick solely based on similarity of her headshot to Andi. And Vanessa wins that (Whitney was a close second). After clicking on her profile, I see that she's Canadian (EH!) and there’s a strong heritage of Canadian contestants on this show. And most recently, Nick’s second attempt at love was also Canadian. That’s enough for me. I’ll take the Canadian Andi Dorfman look-alike for the win.

2. Elizabeth

Maybe its my background in Marketing that makes me a bit biased, but marketers are inherently good at this television show (and pursuits of love!). I think Elizabeth emerges from the crowd—despite being young—and makes it to the Final 2. And her answer to where she meets guys was great: "I'd prefer to meet through mutual friends or in front of millions of weekly viewers. :)"

1. Danielle M. 

She seems to be the total package. She's got a real job (she's a neonatal nurse), she's got a real good choice as her favorite movie (The Sandlot) and she's got a real tragic backstory that, as sad as it is, is reality TV gold (her fiancee died). Not to mention that she's a stunner. The trouble with her is she's a blonde (Nick seems drawn to brunettes - Andi and Kaitlyn) and she's tall (5'10" and Nick is only 6'2"). These are only surface level things, though, so assuming Nick can look past them, Danielle M. is my preseason frontrunner.

2. Lauren 

Where many of the contestant profiles scream "CRAZY," there's something about Lauren's bio that just softly calls out "normal." I say that despite the fact that she doesn't have a real job (Law School graduate???). On the plus side, she likes mini-golf, being outside and Hocus Pocus. That's a win-win-win. She'll slip under the radar to start and then be a major player in the second half of the season.