Better late than never! Sorry for the delay Bachelor Power
Rankings fans, but I’m here with a quick recap of this past week’s episode of The Bachelor. Side note: I got some
feedback last week that my recap was a bit long and drawn out. So this week, we’re
just hitting the highlights. I am assuming that those of you who are reading
(read: one Bachelor fanatic who came
across this blog and my fiancée) have already seen the episode so I won’t get
into the nitty gritty.
Things kick off this week with our remaining lovely eight women and our sole bachelor, Juan
Pablo, headed to New Zealand where love is sure to blossom.
Chelsie gives us the quote of the night: “It’s so wonderful
to be here in New Zealand dating a wonderful guy with seven other women. I
feel just like a Mormon housewife!”
The first date card arrives and annoying Clare is sad about
not getting a one-on-one. Hasn’t she heard by now? Andi hasn’t gotten ONE yet.
Clare makes the first of several volcano references throughout the episode.
Apparently volcanoes are a thing in New Zealand? If it has its own
Wikipedia page, it must be true.
After Andi gets the first date, we get an extended shot of
her ironing her clothes. Weird editing choice.
Anyhow, Andi’s one-on-one date consists of making out in the water with
Juan Pablo (she looked FANTASTIC in her one piece bathing suit, by the way) and
then dinner next to some very active geysers while wearing winter clothes. Wait, weren’t they just swimming
in a waterfall? Now they are literally wearing more clothes than I’ve ever seen
two people on The Bachelor wear. It
looks like it must be freezing next to those geysers.
Regardless, Andi tells Juan Pablo she can’t wait to have a
family. JP swoons and pulls the rose directly out of his heart jacket
and Andi gladly ascepts.
The group date is up next and Sharleen, Chelsie, Renee,
Cassandra, Nikki and Kat are tapped to go. Cassandra reminds us ad nauseam
throughout the date that it is her 22nd birthday, Hmmmm, I get the
sinking feeling that all of these Cassandra confessionals are not indicative of a happy ending.
First up for the six ladies and Juan Pablo? Rolling down a
hill in giant balls filled with water. Ah, the perfect way to get the ladies
into bathing suits even though it is freezing. Side note: Sharleen is the
second bachelorette in a one piece bathing suit (must be some sort of a
record for The Bachelor). She also looks great.
The ladies then spend the evening in Hobbiton – it was only
a matter of time before the producers worked in something related to Lord of the Rings. After arriving,
Sharleen says, “This is f***ing cool.” As Sharleen admits her love of Lord of the Rings on national TV, the
geeks/nerds of America fall hard in love with Sharleen. If only the demographics overlapped more!
Juan Pablo has nice make-out sessions with several of the
ladies throughout the evening but something isn’t quite right between him and Cassandra. Before she
can even tell him that it is her birthday, JP is asking Cassandra to pack her
bags and head home to her son. Worst birthday ever? Hopefully her driver
blasted some Taylor
Swift for her on the drive to the airport.
As she goes, Cassandra tells us she has been “waiting so
long for something special to happen.” Hang in there girl, you’re only 22.
There are other fish in the sea.
After JP tells the remaining ladies why he sent Cassandra
home, Sharleen gets the group date rose and the group heads elsewhere in
Middle Earth back to their hotel.
With that, we come to our final one-on-one date between
Clare and Juan Pablo. After last week’s late night ocean swim, it’s hard to
tell how this will shake out. Clare leads with “I just wanted to go in the
ocean and swim and touch my lips to your lips over and over.” Juan Pablo
apologizes and the two have a totally normal, romantic evening. Wow. I did not
see that coming.
She puts on sweatpants and he eats this up. Juan Pablo leans forward to grab the rose,
she makes the most mischievous face possible behind his back (are we sure she is there for the
right reasons?) and she gladly ascepts. It’s clear JP is immensely attracted to
Clare but is there anything else there?
We interrupt this regularly scheduled recap to bring you “Chris
Harrison Watch – Episode 6!” In case you weren’t keeping track (I was), it is one
hour and 30 minutes into the episode before we get our first look at the
enigmatic host. He proves to be totally worthless in his screen time this week but does
let JP when it is time to send one more woman home.
The rose ceremony is relatively drama free as three women
are already safe (Andi, Sharleen and Clare), one has been sent home (Cassandra) and two have visible connections with Juan Pablo (Renee and Nikki). That leaves Chelsie and Kat. And the next person headed home is… Kat.
Surprisingly, she never locked lips with Juan Pablo (can that really be right?)
and I guess he just didn’t feel the connection.
As Juan Pablo tells the ladies they are all headed to Miami next week, we
get a glimpse of Sharleen’s hesitation and doubt with the whole process that was teased at the
end of the last episode. It looks like this will come to a head next week so
tune in to find out what happens!
Random thoughts from this episode:
- Juan Pablo said “aye yai yai” at least three separate times this week. Someone needs to make drinking game.
- Who delivers the date cards? David Blaine? Whoever they are, they must be masters of illusion because we NEVER see them.
- Juan Pablo had four different times during this episode where he didn’t understand a certain word or phrase. They are as follows:
- Frazzled
- Odd story
- Cut right to the chase
- Bolt
That's it for now. We’ll have another edition of “Upon Further Review” tomorrow
and updated Power Rankings on Monday!
Comments? Questions? Sound off below!
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