Bachelor Power Rankings - Week 1 - The Return of "Prince Farming"

So, before we get into this season's exciting new rankings and slightly altered format, let Chase and I make an apology to you, our (amazingly) loyal readers. We failed you during The Bachelorette. We fell off the ranking bandwagon and let you all down. The small fact that Chase absolutely spanked me in the rankings from nearly the first episode prompted us to lose interest in Andi and her quest for love (a respectable final choice with Josh Murray but do we really think she's going to continue to slog through all of those NFL football games just to watch her fiancé's brother ride the bench? - From Wikipedia "The [Kansas City] Chiefs did not put [Aaron Murray] in a game in the 2014 season."). I digress. 

This season, we're more committed than ever. We're ready to walk with you as Chris "The Farmer" Soules begins his journey towards love.

Look, here's the bottom line. We're both experts in love. We're expert woo-ers. We're professionals at planning elaborate and thoughtful dates. Case in point, both of us are in committed relationships. One of us is married. So believe us when we say you've come to the right place for everything Bachelor related.

And all of this doesn't even take into account that this season is our third attempt at this. You know what they say - "third time's a charm."

Without further ado, here's what we have in store for this season.

For the first week, we're going to shake things up a bit. Instead of a blind Week 1 ranking like we did for Andi's season (which ultimately doomed my competition against Chase), we are going to wait until Week 2 to present our first official rankings. That said, we won't leave you hanging with zero predictions for Week 1. Instead, we're going to present our POWER 5 and who we think will receive the "First Impression Rose." 

POWER 5

For those of you not familiar, the POWER 5 are the five women each of us thinks has the best shot at making the actual final 5. If you think this is nearly impossible with 30 women to start, you'd be sort of right. But for some context, even though it's a blind guess with only brief bios and a short teaser clip from ABC to guide us, Chase did remarkably well during Andi's season nailing 4 of 5 men in Andi's actual final 5. 

Scoring of the POWER 5 is pretty straightforward. When we get to the final 5 women, Chase and I will revisit each of our POWER 5 choices. For each woman in our POWER 5 who makes the actual final 5, we will be awarded 1 bonus point (for a maximum of 5 bonus points).

FIRST IMPRESSION ROSE 

This one is pretty cut and dry. Based on virtually no information (other than the above discussed bios and teaser clip), each of us will attempt to name who we think will receive the beloved (and often meaningless) "First Impression Rose." And I say meaningless because remember when darling Sharleen the Opera Singer received it during JP's season and then TOTALLY QUIT because YEAH WE DO. Again, I digress.

If one of us manages to correctly pinpoint the recipient of the "First Impression Rose," that player will receive an automatic 3 bonus points. Down the line, those three points could be huge.

Without further ado, here are each of our POWER 5 choices as well as our predictions for the recipient of the "First Impression Rose."

Side note: Chase and I will both be live tweeting the premiere tonight so be sure to follow us on Twitter @goldmanstandard and @chasehathaway to see just how many farming puns we can make in one night.

POWER 5

• Nikki, 26, former NFL cheerleader, New York, NY - You know you’ve been following reality television for too long when you start to see trends and realize certain professions (former professional sport cheerleaders) or having the name Nikki tend to experience success and longer runs in the show. I like her chances.
• Jade, 28, cosmetics developer, Los Angeles, CA - She’s breaking out the Jane Eyre reference in her bio and uses the word altruism in her bio. If Sharleen can last in Juan Pablo’s season, I have to think that Jade has a chance this season. I don’t think she wins it, but I hope she brings a bit of sophistication to the show. Because that’s why I watch this show: Sophistication.
• Whitney, 29, fertility nurse, Chicago, IL - As one of the token Chicago natives, Whitney wins the geography battle. Living close to Iowa, the prospect of moving to the farm shouldn’t be too daunting for her.
• Kelsey, 28, guidance counselor, Austin, TX - Giving a nod to all the guidance counselors out there, I think she’ll be around for quite a while. In my experience, guidance counselors are good people, so that has to count for something. Additionally, I'm really hoping we can start a movement to get Chris Harrison called what he really is: Our Loyal Host and Reality TV Show Guidance Counselor.
• Jillian, 25, news producer, Washington, DC - Sticking with my first impression gut call here (see below) and going with Jillian. I like her chances.

"First Impression Rose"

Jillian, 25, news producer, Washington, DC - News Producers are some of the most brilliant people I know. They know what the people want and they deliver. She’s going to throw an anchor to Chris and get the first impression rose (eh?! See what I did there).

POWER 5

• Becca, 25, chiropractic assistant, San Diego, CA - She's beautiful and referenced the diarrhea scene from Dumb and Dumber in her bio. She's got a sense of humor and I think Chris will appreciate that. She's young, which might hurt her in terms of the win but for a final 5, it's plausible.
• Jade, 28, cosmetics developer, Los Angeles, CA - Let's start with the obvious. Her name is dumb. Now that we've got that out of the way, let's focus on the positives. She's smart (she used the word altruism in her bio- has anyone on this show ever even heard the word altruism?) and a self-starter (she has her own business even if he job does sound fake).
• Kelsey, 28, guidance counselor, Austin, TX - True confession: based on bios and photos alone, Kelsey is my favorite. Her answers to her bio questions are smart, articulate and she comes across as really secure in who she is. That's key in a relationship that's going to work in the long run. Oh and she lists "chapstick" as one thing she can't live without. Her lips are moisturized and she is ready to mack!
• Nikki, 26, former NFL cheerleader, New York, NY - I'm always skeptical of someone whose job is listed as "former XYZ" especially when a 26 year old is a former anything. Did she get fired? Is she pursuing other things? If she makes it this far, I'm sure we will find out. But the bottom line, this girl is STUNNINGLY beautiful. Chris would have to be blind not to take her far. 
• Tandra, 30, executive assistant, Sandy, UT - Oof. Two dumb names in the POWER 5 is a tough decision for me. But this girl is both beautiful and fun. If Chris can get past the cringe-worthy name, she could be in for the long haul.

"First Impression Rose"

Tracy - Look, she's not in my POWER 5 but she looks so much like KELLY KAPOWSKI that she might actually be Kelly Kapowski. And Chris is 33 and that means Saved By the Bell may have partly defined his formative years. That could sway things in Kelly Tracy's favor.